Comments on: Saying No http://www.catehuston.com/blog/2010/03/05/saying-no/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed Cate extends Human implements Programmer Mon, 16 Jan 2012 20:57:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Accidentally in Code » Finding Your Cognitive Surplus in Grad School http://www.catehuston.com/blog/2010/03/05/saying-no/comment-page-1/#comment-1182 Accidentally in Code » Finding Your Cognitive Surplus in Grad School Tue, 21 Sep 2010 12:12:45 +0000 http://catehuston.com/blog/?p=1736#comment-1182 [...] I really think this is the number one thing that enables me to do everything that I do. Email is a huge killer of this (why I hate email), so I check it infrequently and don’t have alerts set up. Twitter can do this too, so whilst I use Twitter during the day I don’t click any links but instead mark things as favourite and go through them at times when I won’t be productive. I schedule links that I want to share through the week (using SocialOomph) and also schedule my blog posts. When scheduling things in my calendar, I know what works for me in terms of effectiveness (enough going on that I don’t spend too many days in my pjs, and enough free that I can have long chunks of time to focus) and I try and work to that. Also, I don’t play the “I’m busier than you” game – it’s stupid and pointless. I try to say yes to opportunities, but I’m learning how to say no to things that aren’t. [...] [...] I really think this is the number one thing that enables me to do everything that I do. Email is a huge killer of this (why I hate email), so I check it infrequently and don’t have alerts set up. Twitter can do this too, so whilst I use Twitter during the day I don’t click any links but instead mark things as favourite and go through them at times when I won’t be productive. I schedule links that I want to share through the week (using SocialOomph) and also schedule my blog posts. When scheduling things in my calendar, I know what works for me in terms of effectiveness (enough going on that I don’t spend too many days in my pjs, and enough free that I can have long chunks of time to focus) and I try and work to that. Also, I don’t play the “I’m busier than you” game – it’s stupid and pointless. I try to say yes to opportunities, but I’m learning how to say no to things that aren’t. [...]

]]> By: kittenthebad http://www.catehuston.com/blog/2010/03/05/saying-no/comment-page-1/#comment-649 kittenthebad Sun, 28 Mar 2010 23:44:07 +0000 http://catehuston.com/blog/?p=1736#comment-649 Yeah that's true, the less time feel I have available the more this kind of thing is a problem for me. <br><br>One thing I do, is check the weeks calendar on Beditings and schedule my week in advance and then work other (flexible) things like hanging out with friends etc around the fixed time things. Yeah that's true, the less time feel I have available the more this kind of thing is a problem for me.

One thing I do, is check the weeks calendar on Beditings and schedule my week in advance and then work other (flexible) things like hanging out with friends etc around the fixed time things.

]]> By: kittenthebad http://www.catehuston.com/blog/2010/03/05/saying-no/comment-page-1/#comment-601 kittenthebad Sun, 28 Mar 2010 19:44:07 +0000 http://catehuston.com/blog/?p=1736#comment-601 Yeah that's true, the less time feel I have available the more this kind of thing is a problem for me. <br><br>One thing I do, is check the weeks calendar on Beditings and schedule my week in advance and then work other (flexible) things like hanging out with friends etc around the fixed time things. Yeah that's true, the less time feel I have available the more this kind of thing is a problem for me.

One thing I do, is check the weeks calendar on Beditings and schedule my week in advance and then work other (flexible) things like hanging out with friends etc around the fixed time things.

]]> By: Accidentally in Code » Being Nice http://www.catehuston.com/blog/2010/03/05/saying-no/comment-page-1/#comment-570 Accidentally in Code » Being Nice Fri, 19 Mar 2010 12:11:43 +0000 http://catehuston.com/blog/?p=1736#comment-570 [...] been thinking about being likable lately, because things seem to keep coming back to kick me in the head. Am I doing it wrong? Trying too hard? Not trying the right things? Not trying the right people? [...] [...] been thinking about being likable lately, because things seem to keep coming back to kick me in the head. Am I doing it wrong? Trying too hard? Not trying the right things? Not trying the right people? [...]

]]> By: Jean-Philippe Daigle http://www.catehuston.com/blog/2010/03/05/saying-no/comment-page-1/#comment-566 Jean-Philippe Daigle Tue, 16 Mar 2010 03:43:59 +0000 http://catehuston.com/blog/?p=1736#comment-566 You've grown up a whole lot from a teenager to an adult the day you realize it doesn't really matter that much if you're liked :) You've grown up a whole lot from a teenager to an adult the day you realize it doesn't really matter that much if you're liked :)

]]> By: Jean-Philippe Daigle http://www.catehuston.com/blog/2010/03/05/saying-no/comment-page-1/#comment-565 Jean-Philippe Daigle Tue, 16 Mar 2010 03:42:56 +0000 http://catehuston.com/blog/?p=1736#comment-565 Huh, I was hoping Markdown link style would magically work, and I'm disappointed it didn't. Another one of the six hundred little papercuts I've suffered today Huh, I was hoping Markdown link style would magically work, and I'm disappointed it didn't. Another one of the six hundred little papercuts I've suffered today

]]> By: Jean-Philippe Daigle http://www.catehuston.com/blog/2010/03/05/saying-no/comment-page-1/#comment-564 Jean-Philippe Daigle Tue, 16 Mar 2010 03:42:01 +0000 http://catehuston.com/blog/?p=1736#comment-564 Well, perhaps the negative feelings come from the moment you realize you wasted your time and energy and... you're standing there and know you're not getting those back! See this [tferriss post](http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2010/02/25/rolf-potts-vagabonding-travel/) - wherein it is argued that time is all you really own, in the end. I don't fully agree with that view, but it's still an inspiring conversation to have, no matter which side of that question you're on.<br><br>I'll switch to the personal - These last few months are full of first times saying 'no' to social outings for me... it's quite unprecedented, and in the end I seem to have turned down some of the most high-value meetings I could have (darn) and gone to others that were more convenient. Need. Better. Organizing. Well, perhaps the negative feelings come from the moment you realize you wasted your time and energy and… you're standing there and know you're not getting those back! See this [tferriss post](http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2010/02/25/rolf-potts-vagabonding-travel/) – wherein it is argued that time is all you really own, in the end. I don't fully agree with that view, but it's still an inspiring conversation to have, no matter which side of that question you're on.

I'll switch to the personal – These last few months are full of first times saying 'no' to social outings for me… it's quite unprecedented, and in the end I seem to have turned down some of the most high-value meetings I could have (darn) and gone to others that were more convenient. Need. Better. Organizing.

]]> By: kittenthebad http://www.catehuston.com/blog/2010/03/05/saying-no/comment-page-1/#comment-546 kittenthebad Fri, 05 Mar 2010 20:54:28 +0000 http://catehuston.com/blog/?p=1736#comment-546 I was hopping mad about both of them, but some time has passed now so I'm no longer as angry. I hope it's not so much guilt as much as just, why am I *always* putting myself out for other people, who don't reciprocate? I want to be nice, and yes - I wanted to be liked - but sometimes I should just not bother. I was hopping mad about both of them, but some time has passed now so I'm no longer as angry. I hope it's not so much guilt as much as just, why am I *always* putting myself out for other people, who don't reciprocate? I want to be nice, and yes – I wanted to be liked – but sometimes I should just not bother.

]]> By: rjs http://www.catehuston.com/blog/2010/03/05/saying-no/comment-page-1/#comment-545 rjs Fri, 05 Mar 2010 15:40:18 +0000 http://catehuston.com/blog/?p=1736#comment-545 What I do not understand here is, according to you,you had good reason to say no, and be angry about different situations mentioned here, but your tone is of a semi-guilt feeling. So you are not sure you are in the right: by doing what you did, or by always saying yes; or by wanting to be likable? What I do not understand here is, according to you,you had good reason to say no, and be angry about different situations mentioned here, but your tone is of a semi-guilt feeling. So you are not sure you are in the right: by doing what you did, or by always saying yes; or by wanting to be likable?

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